When you have struggled with various manifestations of anxiety for many years I think it can sometimes be hard to realise if what you are worrying about is normal worrying, or if it is getting into the realm of anxiety.
Everyone worries – or at least I think they do! However, I believe that I worry more than most, but do I? I certainly don’t worry about everything, but I have some things that seem to always set me off, and often it will be around health. But then worrying about one’s health at times is normal isn’t it? Noticing that funny looking mole would send a lot of us scurrying to the doctor I’m sure, so what makes me anxious and the other person just “normally” worried?
I suppose it is about how long the anxiety lasts, are there physical manifestations that don’t go away such as sweating, nausia, dizziness etc. Is the worry the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night? Is your sleep affected? Is there a sense of feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope? Are you leaping to the obvious conclusion and planning your funeral?!
Unfortunately there is no magic pill to make us never have to worry again. When you have experienced severe anxiety however, the part that is the most scary is the actual physical and emotional manifestations of a nervous body feeling out of control. A normal sense of worry can at times be overwhelming – but this does ease – it can be scary – but you see possibilities for hope, it can be all consuming – but time does pass, you might start to feel hopeless - but there is still an awareness of options.
So, I am on a journey of normalisation. I want to experience the normality of worry, to realise it is ok to feel anxious, but that it doesn’t mean I am unwell, and that time will pass.


3 comments
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July 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm
AnxietyBuddha
Hi Jane,
Thank you for this great post.
We all worry, that is a fact.
I think the degree to which worry can contribute to triggering fear and anxiety in someone is partly physical (biochemistry) and mental (habits, ways of being). At any given moment one’s mind and body are working together in specific states. Sometimes things are harmonious and one typically feel well. Other times one may not feel so well and fear and anxiety enter the picture.
The anxiety can cause a great deal of worry and “dwelling” on those thoughts for some time. The triggers can come from a variety of places and for those of us who live with anxiety we get more in tune with what those are over time.
I find that simple awareness of one’s own tendency to worry and dwell, to be anxious and fearful, is a very important step in living in harmony with one’s anxiety. Anxiety will never go away entirely, but to be aware of it when it arises is the first step towards a more peaceful, and ‘normal’ existence.
It is normal to worry, just be present to it and remember that ultimately worrying solves nothing.
July 17, 2008 at 7:24 pm
jane
I like your comment about “living in harmony with one’s anxiety”. This is so true, and much of the exhaustion that comes with anxiety is the need to keep fighting it, keeping it at bay and avoidance, all of which takes energy. I wouldn’t say I live in harmony with my anxiety, but I do find that attempting to accept it’s role in my life does help.
July 18, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Cindy
Hi Jane -
I also have these thoughts about achieving “normalcy” — I’m really not looking for a free ride. Just a normal one!
For me I think the anxiety sets in (especially around health issues) if I find myself going back ‘in the tank’ over and over and each time seeing something worse.
For instance, today I had a pain in my lower back. We’ve been doing a lot of driving and walking up and down stairs with luggage. When I first felt it I thought “yeah, luggage.”
About 15 minutes later I felt it again and thought “hmm, I wonder if this is my kidney?”
In another 10 minutes I had a thought that I was in the middle of NOWHERE and what if I needed a hospital for kidney failure?
That was when I realized I was in anxiety rather than normalcy.
I shifted my position – physically and mentally. I supported my back, took two advil and we put on a book-on-tape to focus on. When I felt a little squeeze in my back I thought of the suitcases and the 22 steps at our last B & B.
It’s been hours now since I felt any pain or thought about it.
I think that is probably normal. The worry about hospitals and kidney failure was an invitation from my Anxiety to take a side trip!
Great post!